A Happy Anniversary Celebration!

Tomorrow, June 1st., Janis and I will have been married 34 years. In celebration, we went to Etowah yesterday and boarded a shuttle (a school bus) for the short trip to the Gee Creek State Park where we boarded the train for a three hour ride around 'the loop'. I believe that is the first time that I can remember ever riding a train - a real train. I've ridden the train in Dollywood and I think in Silver Dollar City in Branson, MO, but this was a real passenger train. It only consisted of two passenger cars and the two engine's, one in front and one in back, but when you're inside the passenger car and riding, you don't even think about that. It was fun and scenic. Here are a few pictures.

Isn't she still beautiful?

I am not even trying to be beautiful, just slimmer.

Fred and Frances went with us. They will be celebrating their 50th., Saturday.

Getting ready to board the train.

We were down there before we were up here.

Some highway that we traveled over.....maybe Hwy. 68!?


This is what makes it the loop. The train tracks loops around and over itself.

Just couldn't let this pass.

Part of the Hiwassee River.

Another scene along the way. For those of you who know, that's the Hiwassee River out there and Webb's store and the bridge that crosses the river there.

Can This Be God's Will?

When we think of sickness, we usually agree that it is not God's will for any of us to be sick but it is His will for us to be healed. If it could be God's will for anyone to be sick, how could we pray the prayer of faith for their healing. I tend to believe that if God wants you to be sick, you're going to be sick and if He wants you to be healed you're going to be healed, but that brings the question to mind, "Why would God want anyone to be sick, especially when by His stripes we are healed?" Here's the question: Can sickness be God's will for someone, sometime? I'm really thinking of my condition. Can this be God's will?

I remember when Janis had to go through Chemo-therapy and have radiation treatments, she said that she believed she was supposed to take the chemo and radiation treatments but yet we believed that when she had the mastectomy done that all the cancer was removed. We believed that God let the doctor get it all. God directed the doctor, or so we prayed and believed. So, now why must she go through the treatments? I don't have the answer to that but it was so obvious that God was with her through that time. We still rejoice and give God the praise. But me! What about me?

Can it be God's will for me to go through this therapy? It's easier for me to see how that can be true than it was for me to see how it could have been true for Janis. With her, the doctors successfully removed the cancer. With me there was no operation but the hepatitis-c virus needed to be treated, so the therapy for me is, we believe, killing the virus. In that sense, perhaps God is healing me through the treatments. Now I know how this mind thinks. Why doesn't God just go ahead and do a miracle and heal me without any outside help? Does God need help? No, He doesn't need any help to do what ever He wants to do, but we sure do. This treatment, I believe, is doing more for me than just killing the hepatitis-c virus. I believe it has taught me some things that I would not have otherwise learned and it is restoring in me some qualities needed to do whatever God wants me to do in the future. I feel inadequate when it comes to explaining and proving some things I believe, but I still believe them. I still believe in divine healing. I still believe that God has everything under control. I am not about to put my trust in anything or anyone else but God, yet somehow, I believe it is God's will for me to take these therapy treatments.

And how am I doing? I'm glad you asked! I'm doing fine. I took my shot Wednesday, felt pretty good Thursday but did feel a little emotional effect - you know, the crying thing, and awoke this AM feeling quite battered. I did OK most of the day and preached tonight at the Towers and sang one song by myself and one with Janis. After the service was over, I began to feel fatigued and still do. God is great! God is good! God is wonderful! Bless His Holy Name!

Thanks for reading my post, but if you didn't read it, just don't tell me. I think it will do me good if I'll go to bed early tonight. (Jas 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.)

I Don't Want To Be Theologically Incorrect!

First, let me give you a brief report of my progress. Tuesday, I received a call from the nurse at the doctor's office informing me that my last lab work looked good. I think that means my white and red blood cells are OK. I'm not becoming anemic.

The shot I gave myself about a week ago, seemed to have very little side effect if any. I felt good all week. Last night I gave myself another shot and I feel fine this morning. However, I just checked my email and read about "The Fireman". Did any of you get it? Before I could finish reading it, I had to dry both of my eyes. Tears were streaming down both cheeks. It is a sad and touching story, and I would have felt sympathy for the mother and sorrow for the son anyway, but I normally could read things like that and at least not have to get a paper towel out to dry my eyes. That's the way this medicine seems to be working on me. Every symptom is not consistent. I do feel the fatigue working on me this morning also, but so far, not like it was week before last.

Now, to another subject: 'Theological Incorrectness'. It has occurred to me that I am living in the middle of a theological pool. Everywhere I go I see 'theology' dripping off of the the lips of the pool bathers. I never worried about that situation here when I was pastoring. Maybe that was because I was in the A/G and not a real member of the C/G community. Looking back, I can see that I was in a survivable situation then. I wonder about it now. Oh, I will survive. In case some of you may not be aware of it, after resigning my pastorate in the A/G, I did what I had to do to be reinstated as an 'Ordained Bishop' in the C/G. Now, I am attending the North Cleveland C/G and going to the 'Encourager's' S.S. class, fellowshipping with the 'Peacemakers' and socializing with some 'theologians'. Some are real theologians and some are wanna-be theologians.

I recently read a blog by 'I-don't-know-who' and was a little disturbed. This 'theologian' (I guess he was a theologian) was criticizing somebodies attempt to prove the existence of God. Now I don't know all the scientific facts about this person's proof, but I cannot understand why anyone would be upset enough to criticize someone who is on our side, really. Maybe that person trying to prove the existence of God was 'scientifically and theologically incorrect', but it seems to me that if God has anything to do with things as they are today, then we must accept things as they are and from that point begin our investigation. Now, most people are not concerned with the history and scientific facts of a thing as much as the effect of the thing. I agree that we cannot ignore truthful facts but God is in control of everything whether we agree with it or try to change it or not. He is still in control and the creator of all things.

If I keep blogging, I might blog myself right out of my life jacket and drown in this pool. I know this may not make much sense to some of you, but maybe some of you can read between the lines and understand what I'm trying to say. I think we need to "Agree with (our) adversary quickly, whiles (we) art in the way with him" Mt 5:25a (KJV), rather than criticize him. Oh! I see. Did you catch that? No, not the way the scripture reads. It's that little "(KJV)" thing. Some say that's the problem. That's why I don't see things 'theologically correct'. I don't know! I may be stepping into the arena and be fixin' to get my head straightened out, but that's OK. I will survive. I just don't want to be 'theologically incorrect'.

Oh, by the way. I am not a theologian.

I'm glad I have the freedom to change my mind!

On April 6, 2007, I had decided that I would keep a diary of my journey through Hepatitis-C therapy. So I started my diary on that date. My next entry was on the 10th., and the next was not until the 21st. Today is the 22nd. of May! Doesn't look like I'm doing a very good job of keeping that diary, does it? Well, I have been emailing some of you and now am 'blogging' - I like the sound of that; it sounds just about right for the description of my journey. 'Blogging!' - So, I have changed my mind about the diary. When writing in the diary, I feel that I have to be concerned with making the letters legible, the appearance of the page neat and clean (which is hard to do sometimes when you make mistakes with a pen), and it must be right the first time or else it's messy. However, when blogging, all I have to do is type. The letters are all neat and legible, the appearance is OK, and if I make a mistake, I can easily correct it. Yes. Blogging is the way to go.

Those diary entries that I made, all three of them, will be kept with 'My Writings' on my computer, and these blog entries will also be kept on my computer. You may ask, "Why do that?" The reason is simple. I don't know how long I will continue computing and I want to make it easy to print a hard copy before the day comes, if it ever comes and it will, when I sign off for the last time. I mean, look. I am 64 years old. I may have 20 or more years, but you never know.

Before, and/or after I complete my therapy, I may change my mind again. Boy! I'm glad I have the privilege to do so.

Be careful how much weight you loose!

I am slimmer, but as you can see, I still need to loose a few more pounds.

Here, you can see what my son calls 'my turkey neck'.

About January of this year, I really started trying to loose weight. I have lost about 40 lbs. Part of my motivation was the sick feeling I got about that time that drove me to the doctor. When you're not feeling well, it's not real hard to skip a meal or eat chicken noodle soup. I was also motivated by my very uncomfortable state of existence. I mean, when you can't even tie your your shoes without almost passing out, it's time to do something. When all your clothes are just about to burst at the seams, it's time to do something. One thing I did was buy bigger clothes. That seemed to help, but it really cost money. I bought some size 44's and some 42's with that wonderful 'stretch band' that added about 2 - 4 inches to the waist line. I got some good pants. Louis Raphael, Haggar, Geoffrey Beene - even some Puritan and George (Walmart specials). All total, I guess I bought about 16 pair of pants. I really liked them too, but now, they are just too big for me. I look like a big bag of sticks in them. So, now, I guess, somebody is going to have a blessing in clothes.

I couldn't hardly believe how many pairs of pants that I still had. I mean, these were the pants that I used to wear before I reached 235, 240, and yes, even 250 lbs. I will just have to get these dry cleaned so that they will have a little bit of professional look about them and then wear them for a while. I don't want to spend that much money again, too soon, on pants. I lost weight and I lost money too. I can remember when I couldn't afford to buy a new pair of pants. My, how God has blessed us, Janis and I.

I haven't been through my shirts yet, but that is coming. Most of my shirts, I do not even wear. I just don't really like them. Janis may have to help me with the 'shirt' chore. She likes some that I don't, and I like some that she don't. Oh, dear! I sure hope it doesn't end up in a feud. If it does, I'll just blame it on my medicine.

Here's hoping that I will continue to loose a little more weight (at least 15 more lbs. for now) and that I will then keep the excess weight off.

Singing the Weekend Blues

Well, I guess it's about time I should be blogging. Sometime it's fun and sometime its not so much fun. Right now may be one of those time when I'd rather be goofing off, doing nothing really worthwhile but I feel a little obligation to let those of you who are interested know how I am doing. So here it is. I'm doing fine! That, said and done, "Goodbye."

No, wait. Wait just a minute. That seems kinda short and even a little rude. I'd better add a little to that so it will be 'more better.' Okay. So, what do you want to hear about. What shall I say. Shall I tell you about my experience Sunday, or about the one Monday? Surely you don't want to spend a lot of time reading a boring blog, so I'll try to spice it up a little.

My last shot was on Wednesday the 9th., and I am scheduled to take another one tomorrow night, Wednesday the 16th. The last one, seemed to be having hardly any effect on me. Saturday, Janis and I planted some flowers that Tammy sent to her mother for Mother's day, and I also did a little hedge trimming and as a result, I pretty well wore myself out. No problem! We got out baths, went to bed and arose to a beautiful Sunday morning. We got ready, rushing at the last minute as usual, left the house, got in the car and began to buckle up and do our thing for the ride to church. It so happened that I brought some ....... well, let's see ....... maybe I should just say, 'men and women don't always think just alike.' I bet (oops! I'm not supposed to bet), but you knew that about men and women, didn't you? Long story Short. I got so upset with Janis that I was trembling. And the crazy thing about it is that it was over some little ole thing that didn't amount to very much. I wanted to do it my way and she wanted me to think about it first. As a result, I was depressed all day long. Well, I thought when I got to Sunday School, Momma will just think it was my medicine working on me. Sure enough, I believe that was what she thought. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I just wanted to go home and lay down and feel sorry for myself, but No! We were having a Mother's day dinner at Bonita's and of course I must go to that. I wasn't hurting physically, so I really couldn't stay home justifiably. Maybe the medicine was working.....by now anyway. I began to notice that I was stuck in that valley of depression. I spent the rest of the day there and thought maybe by morning I'd be OK.

Monday, was the same. I was still just as upset as an old wet hen. I just slept most of the morning. Along about 11:30am, I decided that I'd better go to the RX and get my medicine refilled. I called Fred, and invited myself over to visit with him and Frances because I needed to talk to somebody. Thank God for a good family - for my brothers and sisters. Frances insisted that I eat dinner with them. After talking with them a little while and letting my tears burst forth, I dried my eyes and we ate dinner. Fred and I talked more. I began to feel better somewhere along the way and by the time Janis returned from school, I was doing much better. Still, had some emotions pent up, but I was coming out of that valley. Boy! It's like I fell into that valley and couldn't get out. Thanks Fred and Frances and most of all thanks to God.

As I said, I will have to give myself another shot tomorrow night. The aggravating thing about this is, my symptoms are not consistent. I mean, once I had a terrible itchy rash. Once, it was an elated feeling. About three times it has been a crying spell. And overall, it's been a pretty constant battle with fatigue and it seems that my body must be confused. My understanding was that the side effects would be most prominent within the first 8 to 12 hours and after two or three days I should be back to normal. That is not the way it is working. I am noticing the side effects after about two or three days, and then they last about two or three days. That means about Saturday, Sunday and/or Monday is my worst days. That is not the way I would have done this if I was in control of things. Since when did I think I was in control anyway. I gave up control when I was born and Momma and Daddy was in control. I gave up control when I joined the Air Force and Uncle Sam was in control. I gave up control again when I married my wife. Right!? Well, maybe she gave up control too, but if that's so, then whose in charge? Most significantly, I gave up control when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Master and 'He has everything under control'. Now, I like that.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. I guess this blogging is doing its therapeutic work. I may have to borrow your sympathetic ears again in a few days---but until then, "my heart will go on singing".

Jons' Commissioning and Graduation

The one who really helped him

(I'm going to be in trouble with 'the one who spoiled him')

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The one who spoiled him all these years

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Jon Kristin & Kristin's parents

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Pappa, Jon & Momma

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Jonathan & Kristin

Commissioning and Graduation

Here are some pictures of Jonathan's Commissioning service on Friday night, May 4th. and Graduation on Saturday, May 5th.

Fatigue

I have a new perspective on the phrase 'run through the ringer'. I've heard it used many times and probably have used it myself but I've never used it with the same kind of understanding that I now have.
First, let me remind you (those of you who are old enough to remember) what the 'ringer' is. I remember my grandmother washing clothes in her washing machine. The tub had an agitator in it that turned back and forth swishing the clothes around, pulling them down into the water and shaking the dirt out of them. The tub also had a ringer mounted on top of it. When she believed the clothes were clean, she would pick each piece of clothing up out of the water and put the end of it into the rollers that were turning in opposite direction pulling the piece of clothing into the tightly spaced rollers, squeezing the excess water out of it. She would then let them fall into a fresh tub of clean water and rinse them by hand and put them through the ringer again and then maybe the third time. I watched as the water would just be rung out and that piece of clothing would come out damp, not soggy wet, on the other side.
Now, that is what I think people mean when they say, "I fill like I have been run through the ringer". I knew this all along, but now I know how it feels. My last shot of medicine which I took last Wednesday night took it's tole on me by draining me of my energy like never before. I was just run down, not that I had been doing anything, but that's the way it worked on me this time. Sunday and Monday I felt like the ends of my fingers were feeling the absence of all my strength that had somehow just oozed out of me. My legs felt empty. And I was sleepy most of the day, both days. I feel better today. I even tried to do some push-ups, and I did some too! How many? Look, you're getting me off my subject. I've got to go on with this blog. Anyway, I feel better today and will probably be even stronger tomorrow, but then, tomorrow night after church, I will give myself another shot. I was told that after about two or three months, these symptoms should subside considerably. I sure hope so. If they don't subside I will be 'rung out'.
That symptom is referred to in one of my hep-c books as 'extreme fatigue (tiredness)'. Before I ever began to take this medicine I felt similar to that a lot of times. Maybe you have too! I secretly thought of it as laziness. I'm so glad that I can publicly and loudly profess that I am 'extremely fatigued' and not lazy. Fatigue. Yes! That sounds so much better than 'lazy'.
Maybe tomorrow, I will get around to posting some pictures of my son Jonathan's graduation from Lee University. I am so proud of him. Do you realize that when someone graduates from a four year university today, that they have an education that is probably worth what a masters degree would have been worth in my day of graduation? Well, that's what I think, but no one is paying me for thinking, are they? Jonathan received his bachelor's degree in Computer Information Systems. Oh, how I pray that he will get a job that will pay him well enough that he can repay his college loan, and still have enough money to make a living. He doesn't have time to experience fatigue!

My latest doctor visit!

Just to let you know, I gave myself a shot Wednesday night and went to the doctor on Thursday morning (this morning). I could tell that I had received the medication but I felt like I was doing OK. The good news is that the doctor said that the readings were good, IE. the levels were coming down that were supposed to be coming down. It was not some great fantastic improvement but it was showing up good. I asked her if that was my viral count, and she said, "No. We won't take that reading until the 12th. week (7 more weeks)." Well, that is a little bit of a good report and I thought I would share that with you.
Fred came by the house while I was eating dinner, we talked, went to Mamma's and then he brought me back home. I had begin to feel a little puny about 3:00pm'ish, so I sat in my recliner, turned the TV on low and tried to sleep. Janis came home. Jonathan came by. At about 4:00 or 5:00pm'ish I could feel the effects of the medicine working on me psychologically. My eyes were tearing up and I couldn't hardly talk right. It's amazing how this stuff works on my tear glands. I think Jonathan was shocked to see his daddy crying for no reason but maybe that was good for him to witness. Janis took me to the library, I read about six chapters of some child's adventure book, checked out a CD by Rubinstein, Janis bought some books at the library (sold by FOLA) and we came home. I feel better, but please don't say anything sad to me right now.
We are getting ready for tomorrow night and Saturday morning. We are celebrating Jonathan's accomplishment. Tomorrow night is his commissioning service (I think that's the same thing as what we called the baccalaureate service), and Saturday is his graduation. WOW! I mean, like, Praise The Lord! Then Saturday afternoon from 3 to 5 pm we will have a reception here at our house. Y'all come! Oh, and please pray that he will get a good job!
I may add another post in a day or two or three. Right now, I am not at my best but I thought I should let you know how things are going.

It's Still New To Me

Did you ever notice that when you have something new, you really, really like it. As a matter of fact, if it's a new car, you might be found just sitting in it patting the dash, turning the nobs on the radio/cd player, reading the owners manual and even offering to go to the store for your companion. It's just such fun. But after a while, when the new wears off you begin to forget about your 'new' car. When I get a new computer, I always enjoy all the newness about it but soon it is just like to old one; ie. slow, got-a-mind-of-it's-own, missing needed files, etc. Now, this blog spot will probably be similar. Can you believe that I am already adding another post? I might even add another one tomorrow and maybe, I'll do it fairly regular for a while. But I have a feeling that this too will get old. I really hope it doesn't. I think I will be using this, especially for now (while taking the hep-c therapy). When and if the day comes when I begin to miss a post here and there, and more here than there, don't fret for me. In this technological age, there will always be something new to get involved in.

Think about this: This old world is getting pretty old. I'm getting kinda tired of it. Oh, yes! God has blessed me so much. Life is so much better because of God, but God's plan for all of our lives is to get us ready for a new home in a new world. Man, I'm looking forward to that new life. I'm thinking of that song right now: "Some day, some happy day, from sin set free, I'll live with Christ for 'aye. Some day, some day", "Heaven's sounding sweeter all the time. Lately, it's all I think about most of the time. Soon and very soon, I'll leave this old world behind. Oh! Heaven's sounding sweeter all the time" and "Just wait 'til you see my brand new home." No, I'm not sad and blue; just excited about my new life.

Enjoy these blog posts with me for now and smile!